Let me rephrase, it sucks when you're not working. Because when you're not working, it means you're busting your butt in Manhattan auditioning for as many shows as humanly possible. Sometimes you feel like a robot, a machine, an emotional rollercoaster - constantly and anxiously waiting... waiting for your 60 seconds of glory when you get to sing a 16 bar cut of a song you have no idea if it'll even come out right because your vocal chords haven't properly been warmed up. You get to sing 16 measures of a song you have no idea if they hate or not, or if it's way overdone, or if it's even right for the role they might be picturing you in. After your 60 seconds of glory, you get a "thank you" or if you're lucky, a question... "are you currently living in the city?" or "do you have anything uptempo?" or "do you consider yourself a dancer?" or my favorite, "do the song again, but this time really focus on one point in the room."
This is what we get to do. Audition. I have wished so many times that I could have a discreet video camera recording what our lives are like. I mean it's just ridiculous. There are THOUSANDS of VERY TALENTED people doing and striving for the same dream that we possess. The competition is FIERCE and it's shoved in our faces 100% full throttle every single day. There are women strewn about the audition holding room, curling or straightening their hair, putting on make-up, catching up with friends, or stretching for a dance call. There are monitors yelling out people's names who are next in line. It's never quiet. It's never peaceful. You are sizing people up around you, judging what they're wearing, what you yourself is wearing. Should I be here? Am I wasting my time? What the heck am I going to sing? Their headshots are incredible... mine are terrible! Or... wow... I don't have any resumes with me... I came all this way and forgot to print out more resumes, crap, I guess I have to leave. OR... what? They're typing? Which means... if a LOAD of people are there - the casting director may decide to do a typing, which refers to, gathering everyone's headshot and resumes and picking the ones they think they want to hear. All the rest are rejected and don't get to audition. So after waiting for hours - you get told that they don't want to see you. This mainly only happens to Non-Equity but still it happens and it has happened to Whit and me numerous times. It truly feels so rewarding when you get typed in, you think, "Yes! My headshot IS good and my resume ISN'T all THAT terrible.." and then when you get typed out, you think, "Wow, I need to find a different passion." Haha, oh my, the constant rollercoaster of thoughts.
Whenever Whitney and I feel down or depressed, we'll say that we have the blues. And it's the immediate challenge to uplift each other by saying positive things... and if that doesn't work.... we go get donuts or sushi.
2 comments:
Oh my goodness. This is so sad and ever since Dad's stint with TAR we have felt your pain even more. I think of you all every morning when I get up and wonder if you've been standing out in the cold in NYC waiting in line to audition. And I must add that the casting directors are horrible in my book because I see shows all the time with way sub-par singers/actors and wonder how on earth they got the part when I know there are quite a few Belmont graduates that I KNOW are WAY better! Anyway, keep up the faith, fight the fight, and live your dream! We're so proud of you two!!!
I am praying very hard for you both. I want you WORKING doing what you love!! I want you IN the spotlight. I want you PREFERRED!!!!
You have just written much of what the North Scott drama students will need and want to hear! GOOD JOB!!
Love you, mom/Beth
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